Coming of Age
It is currently 11 p.m. on December 31st as I am writing this. I never think of new year as something different. To me, this just means another day goes by. Although, each year, I would always come up with some new goals and resolutions for the upcoming year. Apparently, that has not happened this year, as of now. My mind is too tangled and yet I have not found the red string to this chaotic mind. I really don’t know. Let’s break this down.
I figured, all these times, the past 18 years of my life, I have always been the dreamer kind. I am one of those whose life is filled with ambitions and specific goals and particular achievements to look forward to most of the day. I should say that, perhaps, my daydreams have been putting my realities off the table. I don’t really have much to remember from this year, other than the first three months of course. I let this pandemic gets the best of me. I should have made more memories, might as well captured them. Instead, all I did was nothing other than my academics. I was too worried about my university entrance exam that I just let my nine months of youth flashed before my eyes. Although I have to thank my stubbornness for making it this far.
The past year truly has taught me a great deal of both sorrow and joy, it even led me to discover more about myself. First and foremost, I would like to say thank you to my dearest self for being able to conquer all the bitterness life had offered. Thank you for standing up so tall when crumbling down sounded like a better idea. Thank you for putting yourself through new challenges every time. Second of all, thank you to the people who stayed and sticked through the entire time, you know who you are. Thank you for the lighting up my dim spirit with your compassionate hearts and souls. I owe you all, loads. I hope the upcoming year will treat you all so kindly, as you did to me.
I will be turning nineteen next year, which means my teenage era is slowly coming to an end. I do not wish to waste this tiny bit of time as plain as last time, so with that being said, I will try to put in my soul in every thing I do. I will keep on challenging myself, putting myself at pace to my journey of self actualization. I am ready to face the flows of emotion, as they make me feel more lively, I suppose. I am ready to learn, grow, and heal. I am ready to become more mature and wise as time passes. Lastly, I wish to grow more confidence, as we all should. In conclusion, I simply wish to bloom.
man, what a year :)
If the past year has been hard on you, I’m sorry and thank you for holding out this far. If not, then I am happy for you. Either way, I hope that both you and I will embrace whatever is coming our way and let’s make the best of it. Okay?
